I'm A Diet Failure

Photo Courtesy of Zazzle

So I have to fit into my Bridesmaid dress and I have about 3 weeks to do it. I tried it on at the Bridal store and it litterally took 2 people to zip it up! I mean I'm not huge, I wear about a size 9 (now) but I do have some toning up to do so my underarm and back fat isnt hanging over the top of strapless dress, litterally!! What was i thinking when i thought i would be able to fit into a size 8? Especially after the sales woman told me the dress runs small? Why did I say "Hey its ok, I'll order it anyway and just make sure i lose some weight"?

Yeah Right...

I'm a lover of all foods that are "bad" for me! Ice cream, Cookies, Cake, Cupcakes, Cheeseburgers, Pizza, Wings, Fries, Fried Chicken, Rice & Beans, Candy, Candy, Candy, Cotton Candy, oh and did i mention Candy?

Did you notice I did not mention one vegetable or fruit?

I mean don't get me wrong, I do like a nice salad every once in awhile and fruit can be very refreshing, especially in this NY heat wave, however if I'm given a menu and tons of choices, guess what? I'm not picking a salad! =/

It amazes me that im not 500lbs already, but like the old wives tale says, it will sure catch up with me. I usually try to diet about 3 times a month and its always an epic failure. I've tried the Atkins Diet, FAIL! The Lemonade Diet, FAIL! Detoxing, FAIL! Eating smaller portions, FAIL! Cutting out sugar, FAIL! And...I think you get the point! People often tell me I should just join a gym or go for a run, but heres the problem with that, I HATE EXERCISING!! I have no motivation to run around a track aimlessly or spend another car insurance payment per month to go to the gym! That's another FAIL!

So basically my hopes for fitting into my bridesmaid dress are slim to none if I cant find the motivation to buy a pair of running sneakers and hit the track in 3 weeks! I guess I'll be taking a trip to the tailor and letting them work their magic!

Oy vey! I'm sure I would have more motivation if I had a running/gym partner?? Maybe? Or someone that followed me around just to punch me in the nose whenever I didnt pick the salad?

Who knows, one of my 30 Before 30 accomplishments is to run a marathon! So i have 7 years to get some motivation. Until then, I guess im content being the "Dieting Failure".